I know we probably can’t live without disclaimers, so I’d like to offer some possibilities for your consideration.
Maybe a rating system like they do for films:
G—General Audiences (applies to material from approved fundamentalist publishing houses—both of them).
PG—Pastoral Guidance (don’t read or listen to this without approval from your pastor. Not the youth pastor; a real pastor).
PG-13—Presidential Guidance (don’t read or listen to this without the help of a president from a fundamentalist college, seminary, or fundamentalist organization—if you need help knowing who really qualifies, email me).
R—Restricted (this should only be read or listened to by pastors and some professors so that they can tell us what is wrong with it).
Maybe a content warning approach would be better (sort of like I hear they do for TV shows). Whenever someone’s name is mentioned, the warning codes can follow it inside parentheses:
CT—covenant theology
C4—four point Calvinism
C5—five point Calvinism
C7—7 point Calvinism (designed especially for John Piper material).
RT—Reformed Theology (to be used when you’re not sure if it contains Calvinism, Covenant Theology, or both, but you want to keep people away from it).
OT—Open Theists (deny God’s knowledge of future events and control over actual events)
RAC—radical anti-Calvinist
BG—Billy Graham-like compromiser
SG—use some Sovereign Grace music.
SGX—use a lot of Sovereign Grace music and recommend C. J. Mahaney’s (CT, C5, RT, SGX) books.
GS—use old gospel songs.
GSX—use only old gospel songs and none of those old dead hymns or newfangled choruses.
MDM—market-driven ministry.
BDM—bus-driven ministry.
SBC—tied to the Southern Baptist Compromise Convention.
TOT—tied in with Open Theists in the BGC.
IFBX—fundamentalist extreme
FINO—fundamentalist in name only (edit HT: ox)
EM—emerging middle (which I think has to do with fat guys trying to run to the front of the line, but not quite sure)
Or, the one I am personally tilting toward, the commercial disclaimer. It would work something like this:
John Piper with whom I take exception here regarding his view of people groups, has recently… Bill Hybels, who embraces the compromising market-driven approach to ministry that I refute here, recently… Well, lunch is over, so it’s time for me to move on.
